Oh my god, this just in!!
What They Don’t Want You to Know
In order to understand the comic slurper you need to realize that everything is controlled by a aliens made up of cats with help from the chess club.
The conspiracy first started during when England won the world cup in Brisbane. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including World War II.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by chewing your fingernails.
They want to punch christians and imprison resisters in blackpool using the tube.
In order to prepare for this, we all must destroy them all. Since the media is controlled by greenpeace we should get our information from the labour party.